you don’t know me
yesterday around half past 10pm, i took a break from a rebuild of atlas (more on this in a future post) to have a late dinner and received a dm from a friend who was sharing a humorous tweet that referenced me and my articulation. apparently, the tweet had gathered significant engagement which explained the fresh influx of followers and reactions on a thought i had shared earlier in the day.
a friend had shared some obliviously self-dishonoring perspective she came across on her timeline and was flummoxed. i remarked that there’s probably a straightforward explanation, saying i think because people can now have their foolish thoughts expressed with poise (thanks to a proliferation of large language models), those who previously perceived such articulations as being well reasoned will undoubtedly think it’s worthy of sharing. a few minutes later, i posted a version of my reply to my twitter account as a standalone tweet.
this morning, i woke up to a few chuckle-worthy reactions, and reposted a tweet i made about stream of consciousness articulation sometime last year. someone replied to say they had seen interviews from me in the past and alleged an attempt to be perceived as smart online while adding that communication is making sure people understand what i am saying. i gently corrected them with their own logic and reminded them of the need to understand that my tweets aren’t addressed to them.
it got me reflecting about how one confounding phenomenon i get to encounter every now and then is how people will opt to subscribe to your stream of consciousness and then attempt to lecture you on communication. like sir, you chose to listen to me. even if it resonates, don’t mistake that for me talking to you.
it’s simultaneously amusing and occasionally tiring that i have become some sort of “what’s he saying? i’ve not done my masters”-inducing meme. it doesn’t matter what it is, as it’s pretty difficult to predict. it can be anything from a nitpick of my articulation in general to an expression related to a niche domain. one can only hope people remember they can unfollow (and disregard) me if my obsessions don’t match their interests.
my friend who shared the tweet with me last night expressed fascination at how i manage to garner so much intrigue. of course i believe a lot of the reactions are a result of mediocre biases. many of my followers today are due to me being unwittingly thrust into the limelight for multiple reasons.
- stripe’s acquisition of paystack right around the crescendo of the endsars protests
- my general appearance (including usage of lipstick, painted nails, etc)
- public expression of polyamory
- buhari’s seeming facial expression when he handed me my national award
a significant portion of this crowd are unfortunately small-minded and thus painted me into a box dictated by their preconceptions and biases towards whatever attribute of mine was in their face when they “discovered” me. as such, perceived deviations from the said box become something to either rail against or authoritatively run commentary on, resulting in a parasocial display on steroids.
there was a mildly hilarious example some weeks back where someone decided to go on a rant about my neckpiece in a selfie i shared of me wearing my shiny new xm6 headphones. it was a baphomet pendant. they went on about the occultic nature of it, with veiled insinuations about my person in context. another person replied them “and yet, he claims to be agnostic”. this was where i mentally went - “so what’s not clicking?” being agnostic obviously means i don’t hold your sacred beliefs, neither am i bound to the esoteric lens with which you view the world. occultism to you, art to me.
same thing with people who come across a picture of me with my painted nails and start making all sorts of conjecture and allegations. yes, i understand you don’t get to see a man with painted nails often in your world, but i can promise you i am not remotely in the headspace you are ascribing to me as a result of whatever shock you are experiencing. what appears to be a “bold” statement of identity or performative defiance is just background activity to me. i have been doing this for well over 12 years now that it’s simply routine, like taking a shower.
the irony isn’t lost on me that i am writing extensively about this subject and adding to the very discourse that feeds the perceptions, but the clarity feels necessary over allowing constructed narratives that bear little resemblance to reality run wild. in fact, i recently contemplated writing a reflective piece titled “attention is all i loathe” but didn’t really get around to fleshing it out amidst my more pressing obligations. i already hit the main notes here so it is probably no longer a necessary exercise. also, i have hopefully created a reference point i can direct future conversations toward rather than repeatedly explaining the same pattern.
my obsessions will continue to take center stage, and i’ll happily share reflections and context-dense social commentary regardless of who finds it digestible. those seeking intellectual compatibility over entertainment value know where to find me. as i noted in this tweet back in january: my favorite people to follow are those whose tweets serve as thought prompts - perfect little sparks that send your mind down corridors of insight, lined with doors to rooms you wouldn’t have discovered otherwise.