taboo

around age 11, i discovered that touching myself in certain ways produced really pleasurable sensations. being the curious kid with internet access, i did what came naturally - research. i went online, read articles, found studies, and discovered this thing i was doing had a name: masturbation. even better, the data showed it was incredibly common, especially among young american males.

my findings made perfect sense to me; it felt good, it was natural, and apparently everyone was doing it. so one day at school, my friends and i were having one of those random knowledge-sharing conversations and i casually dropped it. something along the lines of: “hey, did you know a really high percentage of young men masturbate frequently? i do it daily too.”

the moment that followed was fascinating. everyone just… turned and stared at me like i’d said something completely outrageous. it was in that specific moment - seeing their shocked faces - that it clicked: “oh wait. this is supposed to be one of those things we don’t talk about openly.” the contrast between the statistical normalcy i’d read about and their reactions was my first real encounter with the concept of societal taboos.

looking back, it’s quite interesting how my natural inclination toward data and research had me approaching this totally normally, while social conventions i hadn’t yet internalized said otherwise.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​