Shit Ezra Says

Achiever. Thinker. Wanker. Cofounder and CTO at Paystack.

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What the fuck was I reading?

This time last year, I visited my mom for the holidays - like everybody else. It is customary for us to have bible readings and then pray before retiring for the night.

On one of those nights, what was read was about some king that sent for a prophet. I think that prophet was Elijah. Anyway, the king sent a commander of some fifty soldiers to go get the prophet. Note that this wasn’t an arrest, regardless of how it sounds. The commander walked up to the prophet and went

“Thou man of God, the king requests your presense”.

Well, guess what - the prophet responded saying

“If I am a man of God, let fire come down from heaven and strike you and your army”.

And that happened.

The king sent commander 2 and his own fifty soldiers. Same thing happened.

I’m like dude, we know you are a man of God. That’s why we called you man of God. Why are you still trying to prove to us that you’re a...

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Holy Jesus fucking Christ, that’s one huge maggot!

You know how you watch gory, gut squirming videos on (or and subconsciously write them off as fiction, make-believe, jokes, “can never be that bad”, etc. (except for those who tend to believe everything they see on the internet – like the existence of the Illuminati), well, I’m about to force feed you with an encounter I had with something that began life as a mustard sized devil.

I woke up on a Saturday morning and felt some sort of pain on my back and neck. Thinking it was just a mosquito bite, I ignored the pain and went about the day’s business. Monday came and the pain got worse, it even added occasional sharp sting sensations as a bonus and the spot on my neck was already slightly swollen. Perhaps, the mosquito bite got infected. Whatever. I thought I should probably take antibiotics but I’m not a fan of drugs, so I ignored it altogether.


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A little rant about Rails

Ok, so I downloaded and installed Visual Studio 2012 two days ago and OMG using it is euphoric. When it dawned on me yesterday that my days pretending[1] to be a .NET programmer will soon be over and I’ll be back to my CFWheels/Railo development and Rails experimentation and lackluster IDEs, I decided to put Google to use: “develop ruby rails visual studio”.

First result was a Stack Overflow thread started by a developer who shared my exact concerns, only that he posted his question in 2009 which means Visual Studio 2008 was the wonder IDE he was jerking off to. One of the comments to his question was a link to a article with the accompanying line: “Just remember that they hate you”. Who hates me? I wondered. I clicked through to read (as I would click any link I find anywhere on the internet that contains codinghorror in it anyway – yes, I love Jeff Atwood).


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Just because I can.

I’ve actually been trying to come up with one long ass post for a while now (in my head, that is). I’ll probably just abridge it and post anyway. Nothing too serious; it’s the usual self adoring shit I’m used spewing.

Fuck off.

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The following paragraphs lack coherence of any kind.

Humans suck. There is a reason why I really don’t have people I call friends. Guys I occasionally hang out with are mostly colleagues or acquaintances. Most times, I just want to run away from everything to a faraway plain, with my cats of course.

I like to think of myself as homosexual, or bisexual, or bicurious, or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days. No, I’m yet to have my first sexual experience with a guy, mostly because none of my friends are willing. There is this colleague of mine that gives me a hard-on anytime I picture him rubbing my thighs. Thankfully, he actually does this. But he doesn’t know it actually excites me.

I’ve always wanted to own an owl simply because they can turn their necks about 270 degrees from side to side. I’m yet to see one for sale on this side of the world but…I will settle for a...

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I know I’ve not posted shit in a long time. Heck, I’ve not posted anything at all in (*trying to calculate number of days… *giving up). Twitter is really the death of blogs. Haha, it wishes. This is more like a comeback post. You really don’t have to remind me of the fact that I’ve said this before, do you? Anyway, what better way to do this than list the highlights of my life between July last year and today? Here goes…

July last year, I was half jobless. My company was distressed. It was only a couple of days since we were paid for the month of May. Trust me, it wasn’t funny. Second week into the month, a meeting was called and it was announced that the company was shutting down. My getaway move for this period was posting crap on Twitter. It helped, I guess.

August, I was still jobless. I wasn’t actively searching for a new job though. Why? Two directors of the defunct company...

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On God, football, and the octopus

Over the weekend, myself and a couple of friends started talking about the FIFA 2010 World Cup and the octopous that suddenly gained celebrity status for correctly predicting the outcome of 8 matches. Needless to say, I don’t follow football so I’m usually the last person you’ll find in a conversation about it, but the lure of the possibility of something supernatural was impossible to ignore.

During the afore-mentioned conversation, the octopus’ ability to predict the outcome of matches was attributed to the devil. As one of his numerous gimmicks to deter people from concentrating on what is important. It was even said that God would one day srike the octopus or something. You know, the usual overly religious christian crap. Rather than call BS on the whole Devil/God thingy, I decided to go by the Bible itself for starters.

The two interesting cases of divination in the bible was said...

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Oh My Twitter!

I forgot to add TM. And no, this is not another joke post. My Twitter account has been hijacked for about a week now.

The attack was classic (I feel so probably since this is the first time I’m a target of one). My email address ([email protected]) was compromised at around 10pm on 14th of January, 2010. I must admit, I use a very weak password. Even by 1999 standards, its a pretty weak password.

11:52pm, a password recovery was performed on my Twitter account. About 3 minutes later, the associated email address on my account was changed thus relieving me of any form of control over my account. I knew this from a mail sent by twitter to my email address notifying me of the change. Problem is, the new email address wasn’t stated.

Complained to Twitter, got a reply after three days that a support ticket was opened for me with a message that needed my response. I followed the link and...

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Yay! I got my Twitter back!

True story. And guess what my first tweet was…:) Thanks to a Twitter rep called ‘tiger’. What a weird name for a cool guy (or girl?). Maybe he helped me out because of my extreme feline love.

So its back to (the) business (of tweeting)… And oh, before I forget, a huge middle finger to the attacker, whoever the fuck you are!

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Happy New Year, bitches!

It feels so good to be baaaack! Erm, did I really go anywhere? I know, its January 12 already. Guess a lot of peeps have forgotten they even had a holiday. No, I’ve not. I’m still living it. And hey, did I say I had the best Christmas break ever? Mum should definitely not see that – we haven’t seen each other since April last year. I’m currently less than 40 kilometers to her so I should go say hi to her very soon.

A lot of things have happened since I last blogged. I’ll mention two notable ones.


Michelle, my queen, gave birth to 4 kittens. Junior, Brenda (the girl in the picture), Alex, and Kaytee. The kittehs are soooooo cute. Two of them have gotten themselves good foster parents already. Seriously, I would have loved to keep them all.

Next, I made a really good friend. ‘Nuff said. :p

Anyway, I’m looking forward to an awesome year ahead and I’m sure you guys are doing the same.


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